So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
tell me about the eggs
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
