what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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