My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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