So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They took my balls.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
