super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize