3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
