operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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