My pussy is not your playground.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
