My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
