i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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