My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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