let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
