Betty ford says i'm here all night
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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