they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize