The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
