just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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