the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
