I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
