I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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