i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
