At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
