Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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