I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
