My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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