I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
