I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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