Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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