just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
