i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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