he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
