there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
