I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
