I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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