dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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