I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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