conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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