With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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