is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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