whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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