Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
