my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
