The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
