with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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