she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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