my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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