do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
