I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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