I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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