jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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