I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
