I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the day after is always just damage control
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
