hotel room ftw
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
