just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
