I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
