I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
