i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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