Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
